What is up with me? The water works have been insane. I’ve been choking back tears at random intervals. This is what happens to me when the walls are down. As I’ve been (for like the past 30 days)—I am weepy and vulnerable.
Anyway, I’ve read a couple of magazines that do features on “A Letter to my 25-year old self” and I figured, why not do the same?
Dear 25-year old Sab,
There’s so much to say. I fear there’s too little space on this screen.
You’ve got a quarter down, and about 3 more to go.
You know, you’re not doing so bad. In fact, I think you ought to remind yourself that no matter how differently things turned out (as opposed to how you had it planned), you’re okay. You’re doing okay.
Here’s one thing you haven’t heard from me yet—I am proud of the person you’ve become. You’ve grown into a different person altogether. You’re just different. You’re a lot more mature and aware. You’re much more disciplined, grounded and self-reliant. You’re a lot less insecure. I guess? I mean, sure, you have the occasional bouts of insecurity. But overall, you’ve accepted the fact that you’re not perfect. And you don’t have to be. You’re slowly coming to terms with who you are, what you can do and what you want out of life.
The years after graduation were tough weren’t they? It was like a daily fistfight with reality, a constant guessing game with questions like
What do you want? Is this it? Where am I going? Am I doing it right? Why are others getting ahead? Why am I still so lost? Wait, why am I looking at others? Why? Why? Why?
I know you used to think the world owed you, that things would magically fall into place or onto your lap (Dali ng buhay mo noh? Ha-ha.) But what do you know, life teaches you otherwise. Life teaches you that while dreams are free, achieving them will never be.
More than anything, I’m just glad you’ve stopped kicking and screaming. So go on. Swim in the current direction of your life. And when the dust settles, there will be sense in even the senseless.
Continue to believe in timing, in reason and in purpose. Continue to pray and commit your life to the one aboveYou have your entire life ahead of you. The world is one of opportunity. Now, grab and go.