Religion, the RH Bill and learning to hold my tongue.

Hypocrisy is just off-putting. So too, are extremist statements that feel like they’re being shoved down your throat.

If you think I’m about to defend my position on the RH bill, you won’t find that here. I just finished reading the entire bill yesterday, but I am not (and perhaps will never be, well-versed enough) to “lawyer my way” out of an argument on it. I’ll leave that to those in the field, or at least to those with the right to be the official mouthpiece for either side. Besides, I don’t want to burst a vein nor come out with a bullet-point explanation of my stance. I just don’t want to get into that.

While I would love to expound (You see, I’m a woman of MANY words)…in this case, I’d prefer not to.

I really don’t want to “throw people under the bus” nor engage them in a tit-for-tat argument. I admit, there were moments when I cringed and raised both eyebrows in discomfort and I was truly tempted to put my thoughts out there…

But I allowed the sensible and even-tempered part of me to take over. I would rather not offend, infuriate or provoke those who may not share the same sentiments.

I’m not going to discuss the bill in detail. I would rather leave my humble opinion out of it. I trust that those who have read it will have their own understanding and interpretation of it. This much I will say though:

The RH bill is not perfect. But neither is the Church. Yes, amendments have to be made in the bill but I’d also like to point out that certain approaches used by the church should be similarly amended. I don’t think I’m losing faith, but I can’t help but feel at times that the church may be losing me.

While I can only surmise that my current beliefs may have something to do with my exclusive-school/Catholic upbringing, followed by my college/Jesuit education, supplemented by growing up in a democratic household (where dinner discussions sometimes turn into long-drawn but healthy debates)—much of what I think actually has a lot to do with what I see and experience in the “real world”.

What truly turns me off are sanctimonious people who call themselves Catholics but cannot live out what they preach. What disheartens me are those that insist on seeing things in black and white—those who pray for hours but cannot accept homosexuality, those who serve in church but abuse their employees at home, those who trumpet their beliefs with passion but cannot treat others with compassion.

I want more out of my faith. I want more than blind obedience. I want a real and meaningful relationship with my God, a relationship that allows me to grow into a better person, a relationship that goes beyond the walls of the church and out into the real world, one that does not just preserve my moral fabric, but more importantly, a faith that sustains me in genuine love and service of others.

While I believe in the sanctity of marriage, in “saving it”, in defending life from its conception, I too, believe in a humane society that serves the needs of not just Catholics, but society as a whole.

I hope I haven’t horrified my relatives and friends (who are fiercely obedient Catholics). Don’t get me wrong. I do believe in God (still do with all my heart). But I also believe that we live in a pluralist society, which the government must also serve without bias. I believe in keeping an open mind about things instead of rejecting them outright. I believe in honesty and transparency, in walking your talk and fighting for what you believe in. I believe in democracy, free speech and the fact that respect begets respect.

At the end of it all, I believe we all just want to defend life, fight for it and better it.

And no, it is not raining because of the RH Bill. Whoever said that was being truly insensitive and (un)christian. But that’s beside the point.

I’m holding my tongue.