I love saying this.
It feels good on the tongue, sounds rhythmic to the ears and over all, it makes a lot of sense. It’s not one of those overly complicated or hardly-relatable quotes that you have to repeat a dozen times before the meaning shows actual meaning to you. It’s universal, timely and most importantly, it reminds me of the fact that in life, you don’t always get what you want.
To cut to the chase or go right smack into the point of this blog—We lost the Clean and Clear Asian Competition. I say that with a tinge of sadness and an admitted sigh of disappointment. However, if you expect this to be a hate blog or rant post, it’s not and it won’t be. Losing is and will always be painful. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that losing strengthens you for the battles ahead. It makes you more resilient and prepares you for the worse…or worst.
Losing, as I’ve also come to realize, is quite relative. While the general rule remains that the winner takes the whole and the loser takes the scrap/s, the fact that the loser still gets to take something, can only mean one thing—that something was gained from the loss, that being, the experience. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not having one of those self-deprecating pity parties where I pretend to be okay when I’m not. Let’s face it, nobody really relishes losing. I don’t like losing. (Who does anyway?)
BUT, there’s something strangely rewarding about loss and losing. Losing allows you to see things from a wider and better perspective. Loss, in its many forms and figures, allows you to learn, appreciate and push yourself even harder. It allows you to sharpen yourself and your instincts. It keeps you believing in the possibility of winning and in the promise of bigger and better things to come.
Thus, when I was asked yesterday (and quite a lot of times, I must say) if I was okay, I could only think of answering this way:
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
I’m alive and kicking. I’m young and restless. I’m wild and free. (Loving the quotable quotes huh?)
I have so much more ahead of me. I have TOO MANY opportunities to take advantage of and SO MANY dreams that I’ve yet to fulfill. I’m surrounded by an amazing family, an incredible best friend-boyfriend, a tight group of trusted friends and a massively supportive theater community/family. Add to that, I’d still like to believe that my top best friend and I came out on top. Jilli and I are closer and stronger than ever—both individually and as a twosome. We came out with the recognition (and reminder) that the friendship we have is truly irreplaceable and perhaps even unequalled. 18 years of beautiful friendship—how can you put a price tag on that?
I’m 23 now, pretty old and yet still quite young. In my piggy bank of experiences, you’ll find a bunch of “lost” coins…
As in the world of health and fitness, I’ve lost (and gained) and lost (and gained) weight, fat and pounds. Thus, the never-ending battle with the bulge. As in the world of material things, I’ve lost pretty much every imaginable lose-able thing. As in the world of love, I’ve loved and lost and found and loved again. And I’d have to say that losing isn’t half as bad when what you gain after the loss…is worth everything. As in the world of theater, I’ve lost many roles, many plays, many times. Theater has been a wonderful teacher of the truth that you don’t always get what you want. Harsh as it sounds, theater has taught me to lose and to embrace losing. It’s taught me to get over myself, better myself and be my best self.
So we lost the competition.
Do I feel bad? A little.
Do I feel sad? Yes, quite a bit.
Do I regret joining? No.
As in every aspect of life, every competition or race, every role or thing, you win some, you lose some.
But what ultimately matters is that you take that loss, put it in your pocket, walk away and make something great out of it. After all, we only have one life to live. We may have lost now, but there are still so many things out there that we can win.