The Fourth is strong with this one.

A series of digressions…

I read somewhere that the success of a blog lies in giving people what they want to see and read, and in keeping private or personal matters off the table.

I haven’t been able to do either. I suck at discretion. I write with my heart, on whim, and as I feel. I’m a ‘what you read is what you get‘kind of person.

I guess the candor comes from my frustration with the girl world—the scheming, the underhanded bitching, the fluff and icing, the intricacies of maintaining a public image and marketing yourself well. Eh kung hindi ko kayang i-market sarili ko, paano? Haha!

End of Digression.

Which brings me to the point of this entry (Haba ng intro!!! Haha)

It’s THAT time of the year again when I’m given a little more leeway, when I have the  “right” to let out a load of CHEESE…Escudero. (ERMMYGERD, I am so corney. And I just ruined ‘the moment’ OR what would have been my segue into this public declaration of love…

ANYWAY!!! I must say…ang daming digression kasi nahihiya akong maging mushy. PRIDE!!! Hahaha)

SO!!! Without further ado or stalling…

Today marks my 4^th year with James (Cue ‘Awwww’ and ‘Yiiiiii’. Ha-ha). In showbiz terms, we’ve been “exclusively dating” for about four and ½ years now.

To the sentimental romantic in me, it seems like forever. To the realist-skeptic in me, it’s not that big-a-deal. Either way, I wouldn’t want to let the day pass without recognizing that it is a feat and a truly wonderful thing that we’ve come this far. I don’t want to make this longer than it has to be. I just want to let SOMEONE know how much he means to me. 😉

So to my best friend:

Happy 4^th of — you and I. I think you already know by now that you mean the world/planet/universe to me. 😉

Gross as this sounds, I have moments when I feel as if we’re still dating, moments of..pure ‘Aawww’ kilig. And fine, I do have the occasional “Never kong aaminin pero nagseselos ako” fits of jealousy. Do not quote me on that. :p

My point is (since I have a tendency to hold back and sugarcoat), I love you and I am still so in love with you—that I sometimes feel the need to pinch myself.

Sometimes I wonder if I should hold back a little, if I should leave some for myself, if , if I should take heed—because as in all things in life, you never really know. But to hell with that, right?

We never know what tomorrow will bring. We never know if the world has other plans or curve balls to throw our way. We never know. Period.

But at this moment (and I die as I type this), I do know that I want it to be you. I really do. I do hope it’s you that I spend countless more days with—good or otherwise.

Thank you for giving me the best 4 and half years of my life… so far. :p

May the fourth be with you.

I love you so much it’s gross.

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