With every tick and tick of time, there is an onslaught of either regret or an overwhelming sense of frustration with the year that was. One beats himself up for the things he should-a, would-a, and could-a. The ‘What-ifs’ and ‘If Onlys” fill the air.
“I should have done more.
I would have had more.
I could have lived more.”
Oh Resolutions. From years of broken ones or futile attempts at them, I’m trying to find a way to think positively of them and continue making them. After all, what’s a new year for if not to make a complete poop of yourself in attempting to make you and your life supercalifragilisticexpialidocious? (Whatever that means)
In words, fragments and lists, we scribble hopes and sketch in dreams for the New Year to come. Whether you think this useless (as most disillusioned people do) or inspiring (as we all intend these lists to be anyway), I hope your list of maybes turn into more Yes’s than No’s.
On a Side Note, I did some “research”. Although, I don’t know now. Wikipedia hardly counts as scholarly research.
Recent research shows that while 52% of participants in a resolution study were confident of success with their goals, only 12% actually achieved their goals. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting (a system where small measurable goals are being set, such as, a pound a week, instead of saying “lose weight”), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.
In any case, here are my resolutions. Here’s to realizing and actualizing each one.
1. Read at least 3 books a month. (Ideal Goal: 50 by the end of the year.
2. Find a Writing Job. Or at least a job that allows me to write or bullshit the world into thinking I’m normal. Gist: WRITE MORE.
3. Work for Company A and seriously manage Project B. Without procrastination or hesitation. FOR REAL.
4. Get healthier. Beyond the superficially obvious cheek reduction, internal health is the priority this year. I’ve had some health scares this year. I owe it to myself to get healthy. Must work out at least 4x a week. (There is ALWAYS time.)
5. Sing more comfortably in front of a large crowd. I sing at my best on the toilet..how strange is that? This year ought to be a year of nurturing talents and sharing them.
6. Re-learn to dance. The hung ballet pointes deserve a little resurrection.
7. Pray more. And not just as a sudden fleeting fad or once-in-a-while whim.
8. Find a way to relax once a week.
9. Sleep at least 7-8 hours a day.
10. Make more time for Chloe. I feel like a divorced/working mother neglecting a child!
11. Get more out of life by giving more of myself to life! i.e. Performing more, Writing more, Serving others more, grabbing every opportunity possible.
12. Travel more. While the jetsetter within feels all over the place at times (both literally and figurately), I feel blessed to be one of those given the opportunity to travel often. I will continue traveling as much as I can and take everything in.
13. Live more frugally. While I can’t realistically claim and breathe the title ‘Starving Artist’, I do have to realize that my job entails a little more saving and little less spending.
14. Say Sorry. And I mean saying it from the heart and not from the ass. I’m a complex person with very complex issues but that would never justify the inability to utter the words I often can’t spit out. If I think I’m bad then let me admit it and be sorry for it.
15. Say I love you. True, we can throw the occasional I love yous and I miss yous to random and non-forever fellows but how many times have I said I love you to people I truly love? The oddity of it continues. I find it most difficult to say it to people who mean the most to me.
16. Be more confident. Lose the incessant insecurities creeping up my spine and every possible nerve in my system. Holy Crap. I smell it burning. Let this be THE goal for 2011.
17. Talk Less. Do More. I had so many hopes, ambitions and plans for 2010 and while I am thankful for the very eventful 2010, I really ought to grab life by its balls, horns and all, this year.
18. Use a planner more religiously. I ought to make those useful things more useful.
19. Be wiser with friends. Even those I think are real may not be. I’m getting old. I need to filter and keep the ones that are truly worth keeping. Facebook, you make a fool of a lot of people. Including moi. People really ought to learn to trust only a few.
20. Think of more resolutions. I want 25. Ha-ha!
I AM SAB. 
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